Life has taken me on a bit of a journey, professionally, personally, and spiritually.
Towards the end of 2014 and into the beginning of 2015 we started seeing a slowing in the drilling business. Due to barely working among other reasons I left my job for a job that was more stable, benefits, and home. This was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make because I loved my job. I loved my job that I had with a company that took a chance on me when I started and has always tried to be good to me. I loved my job, the work I did, and the friends I've made. These were some of the best people I know today and am glad to call them friends. I moved into a job back home that was a maintenance tech position. Again, this was a job that took a chance with me and I'm determined to work as hard there as I did out in the oil fields. You can stick me in an oil field and I can confidently log the hell out of it with ease but with my new job I'm apprehensive. I'm not gonna lie, my job scares the hell out of me. I'm pretty green and never did a job quite like it before. My days can go from one day greasing machines to cutting them apart the next. Thankfully I work alongside a good group of guys there too. I hope I don't let them down.
In my personal life I wouldn't do it any justice if I didn't mention my rock, who now shares my life with me after 6 years. Life got pretty crazy and she crazier still, yet I couldn't imagine my life without her. ...ok, honestly it would be pretty normal but she's also brought two awesome kids into my life. Getting honest here, (because why not) things aren't perfect. They aren't perfect to anyone else looking in, not perfect to me, and probably not perfect to her either. What I can say is that there's no one that I'd rather figure it all out with than her.
Several days ago we passed the one year anniversary of losing Robin Williams. It was bitter sweet for me. I was sorrowful that we lost someone whom we all seemed to love and there was just a huge out poor when the news originally broke but he brought an awareness to depression that most people seem to have never known about, that anyone can get depression. Not many people know that I fight it too. It's not a feeling that's here one day and gone the next. I've had days when I couldn't get out of bed, days where I cared about absolutely nothing and wanted to just give all my possessions away. Some days I wake up physically sore. It's given me insomnia to where I didn't sleep for three days and I had to force myself to sleep. I've had days when without reason emotionally I couldn't function and just wanted to break down and hide. I've literally quit jobs because of it and have sat in some spot for days, almost comatose because of it. I've never publicly opened up about this but have even considered taking that long term answer for my short term problems. So why do I tell you all of this? Because we all know someone with depression. It's not a short term problem. It is long term. It's a burden. Those whom I've let close to me in moment's when I really needed them, they've all walked away and left me to fight alone. While I'm still here not everyone is always so lucky. If someone ever comes to you, be there for them. Depression is a burden and we all only want one thing from it, to be free.
So... Here I am, trying to get life back on track to what makes me the happiest. It's a struggle but it's working. Without my rock I wouldn't look forward to every day and try to do things better than the day before. Have I mentioned that I've been sober for almost a year now? Not alcohol free but my drinking is now under control. I have trouble focusing. ....(lol) ALOT of trouble focusing but slowly I'm getting there.
I was more or less invited to participate in a local art fair here in Topeka and I've got a few ideas for pieces of art to go with but I've lost steam because the organizer this year hasn't gotten back to anyone about my participation. That being said the artwork I had planned to offer I'll find another way to do so.
I had a plate full of animation and comic projects and I've decided to narrow them down. I literally had eight full production projects from writing, designing, drawing, and/or animating that I planned to do all on my own. (Probably the reason I couldn't focus on one.) Wanna know what they were?
- Eichi Nee
- Atlantis
- The Crystal Crown
- New Strawn (Working title)
- Whisper
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Property of Nickelodeon)
- Masters of the Universe vs Thundercats (Property of Mattel and ?Warner Brothers?)
- Dino Riders (Formerly Tyco and now Mattel)
Some of these projects some of you who have been reading would know about. Some were never mentioned by name. New Strawn is a working title and it may change in the end. The name was inspired by a small town in Kansas that I used to drive through but was meant to be a title like "Cloverfield." Anyways, it's a long story on that one. It's a pretty ambitious project. All of these are a subject for a blog at another time because there's way too much to talk about right now.
I was going to upload some pictures here for you guys but Blogger is acting funny and I can't upload any. Sorry for the wordy boring blog. :/
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