So I'm in a bit of a melancholic mood tonight. In light of that thought, you get a blog.
I ran across something this evening when I was on my deviantart account. Basically its a contest that has 5 different entry points and I plan to submit for two of them. One being illustration, what I was going to college for, and the other drawing/painting, which involves a still life of portrait, etc, etc; something else I also did in college. The deadline is December 3rd so I'm gonna be busting my ass when I get home and during my off hours here at work.
My first submission I'm not 100% on what I'm submitting. The requirement is for the work to either be a book cover showing a person, animal, alien, robot, etc, or to be a page of a graphic novel, with at least one panel displaying a person, animal, alien, robot, etc and either can be an original or preexisting idea.
Currently I'm torn between submitting a page of Eichi or a page of an Iron Man script I ran across a couple of weeks ago that I asked someone to write up for me, which depicts a battle between Iron Man and Iron Monger. Either would be good and display various attributes but could also hinder me in others. My own works will show creativity and originality however may suffer because manga is not as technical as we would see in American comics. Ofcourse IronMan would be a complete opposite of that so I can go either way.
My second submission will be a portrait, that is certain. This one will take probably the most time as I will have to do this one at home and will use charcoal and graphite. The million dollar question is a portrait of who? This one I will need to put some thought into.
I also got to thinking that I wanted to do something artistically beautiful. And when I thought of that the only thing that would come to mind is pictures from the Hubble telescope. This one is going to be a little hard to tackle but damn it, why not?
So there's a lot artistically going on in my head right now as well as a few other jewels. The last 36 hours has been pretty eye opening for me. A lot of things have fallen into place mentally for me on where I am and where I want to be.
Of course I can't spill ALL the beans yet.
-Pat!
Friday, November 23, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
It's about time
Oh my wow it's been a while since I got to sit down and write one of these. I've been meaning to blog for a couple of jobs now so that means almost two months now.
So what is there to catch up on? 90% of the time I usually try to keep this blog geared towards my hobbies so lets just continue to keep that vibe going until something just pops up.
I have a second "nerd" blog that I've meant to upkeep and by looking at the last date, its been since June 4th since I've updated it last. It's something that I want to get back to doing on on a normal basis. Personally I feel that I have expanded out how I see the nerd world and hopefully I can bring a lot back into it. Work really has played a large part as to how and when I update my blogs. When I'm at work I just can't always seem to find the time and when I can finally get some time, nothing is relevant anymore so this mentality will play a large role as I get back into "Nurdgasmic" and how it will evolve. As of this moment in time I've got plans set to return to it in December.
In my own social media life I find myself all over the place. I'm on facebook, here, twitter, occasionally returning to myspace, and now logging into my deviantart almost as much as I do facebook. My deviant art page has served as an avenue to explore my own creativity no matter how dark or light hearted it is.
Speaking of my own creativity, I posted on my facebook, maybe a month or two back, about a fan driven project I wanted to work on. The premise was simple, I would provide two different stories I wanted to pursue and by friend vote decide which to create for a website. The two ideas I presented were TMNT and Masters of the Universe vs Thundercats. I only got back two hits of feedback. TWO! And the idea was tied down the middle.
The TMNT story line would cover the origin of the four turtles and cover the Fugitoid War with the Triceratons and then throwing in Shredder, the Krang, villains we know and love, with a few other extreme dynamics. The story would cover not only the turtles growing up into who they are but also finding out about a fifth turtle and also survive by taking away the one thing they cherish most, Splinter. So that was option number one.
Option two was a fan driven story of the Masters of the Universe vs the Thundercats. In order to do this story I needed an avenue or a reason for them to clash. Long story short, nothing served better than Mum-Ra finally finding a away to destroy the Thundercats, by obtaining the Sword of Power of Eternia. This story was just simply a nerd fest.
Sadly I didn't proceed with either option because of the lack of opinions and maybe that's why I'm posing this here now.
Lastly, I've rededicated to write my own works that I have procrastinated on for YEARS. Yes, its about time and what the hard part is finally putting it to paper. I've waited and waited for the right equipment to go into production. EXPENSIVE equipment just for the sake if keeping it all digital which was a proclamation I made a couple years ago, to keep everything as green as possible. Well, right now it's as green as it can be, but you can't take ideas from your head and expect people to appreciate them, so now moving forward I'm gonna pick the pencil back up again. ....again. Oh yeah, and put together a website. That's on my list of things to do when I get home.
And that's pretty much everything almost everything I'm stewing on right now. Hopefully I can get back to blogging on a regular basis. Maybe I'll stop being lazy, stop playing Halo, and take all that extra time I have to myself at home and be productive.
Only time will tell.
Pat!
So what is there to catch up on? 90% of the time I usually try to keep this blog geared towards my hobbies so lets just continue to keep that vibe going until something just pops up.
I have a second "nerd" blog that I've meant to upkeep and by looking at the last date, its been since June 4th since I've updated it last. It's something that I want to get back to doing on on a normal basis. Personally I feel that I have expanded out how I see the nerd world and hopefully I can bring a lot back into it. Work really has played a large part as to how and when I update my blogs. When I'm at work I just can't always seem to find the time and when I can finally get some time, nothing is relevant anymore so this mentality will play a large role as I get back into "Nurdgasmic" and how it will evolve. As of this moment in time I've got plans set to return to it in December.
In my own social media life I find myself all over the place. I'm on facebook, here, twitter, occasionally returning to myspace, and now logging into my deviantart almost as much as I do facebook. My deviant art page has served as an avenue to explore my own creativity no matter how dark or light hearted it is.
Speaking of my own creativity, I posted on my facebook, maybe a month or two back, about a fan driven project I wanted to work on. The premise was simple, I would provide two different stories I wanted to pursue and by friend vote decide which to create for a website. The two ideas I presented were TMNT and Masters of the Universe vs Thundercats. I only got back two hits of feedback. TWO! And the idea was tied down the middle.
The TMNT story line would cover the origin of the four turtles and cover the Fugitoid War with the Triceratons and then throwing in Shredder, the Krang, villains we know and love, with a few other extreme dynamics. The story would cover not only the turtles growing up into who they are but also finding out about a fifth turtle and also survive by taking away the one thing they cherish most, Splinter. So that was option number one.
Option two was a fan driven story of the Masters of the Universe vs the Thundercats. In order to do this story I needed an avenue or a reason for them to clash. Long story short, nothing served better than Mum-Ra finally finding a away to destroy the Thundercats, by obtaining the Sword of Power of Eternia. This story was just simply a nerd fest.
Sadly I didn't proceed with either option because of the lack of opinions and maybe that's why I'm posing this here now.
Lastly, I've rededicated to write my own works that I have procrastinated on for YEARS. Yes, its about time and what the hard part is finally putting it to paper. I've waited and waited for the right equipment to go into production. EXPENSIVE equipment just for the sake if keeping it all digital which was a proclamation I made a couple years ago, to keep everything as green as possible. Well, right now it's as green as it can be, but you can't take ideas from your head and expect people to appreciate them, so now moving forward I'm gonna pick the pencil back up again. ....again. Oh yeah, and put together a website. That's on my list of things to do when I get home.
And that's pretty much everything almost everything I'm stewing on right now. Hopefully I can get back to blogging on a regular basis. Maybe I'll stop being lazy, stop playing Halo, and take all that extra time I have to myself at home and be productive.
Only time will tell.
Pat!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Drawing Challenges
... So I have this pondering question every time I write a blog. Do I welcome you all back to reading this humble bit of me or just jump right in the thick of it? Even by asking this question I am, in sort, welcoming you to this blog because its engaging, and if I just jump in I'm usually hit with writers block cause I feel like an ass. So welcome back! :)
Ya know, I went back and re read the first blog here on blogger and I find that I haven't always been covering some of the stuff I planned to talk about. Not like a lot of it is important because who wants to hear about my work life, but then again, what are you gonna do when your work up at 1 am with stormy weather? Blog of course.
Let me tell ya, the food around here sucks. I thought I was gonna try to eat healthier and bought Sun Chips and got whole grain crusted lean pockets. I'd rather eat happier than healthier cause this shit tastes like cardboard. Maybe that's how this healthy eating works, by making you not want to eat it.
So I was going to create a new blog this evening. One that's more creative but I ran into two problems. One, this blog is supposed to be about me and therefore creative in its own right and two, I had to come up with a name. Oh, I know, "Boo hoo, I need to come up with a name." That's not really the problem. I had one. I just pulled the first two words out of my head and that was the name, Hungry Booger. ...yeah, who wants to read that? Let alone give you a startling look inside my head. Oddly enough it came to me as I was trying to stomach Hot Pocket "cardboard." Maybe that has something to do with it. My body was looking for other sustenance. Either way, everything is staying right here.
So previously mentioned blog was going to jump in with this like "30 Day challenge" thing but its all drawn stuff. I've managed to get part 2 and part 3 but the blog I stole it from didn't have a simple page for part 1. I do know part 1 started with a self portrait. The challenge was created by the owner of the blog I took it from and some of his buddies but thought it would fit well into mine also. Without listing them off for you all here are parts 2 and 3.
Of course now you can see some of the hilarity that can ensue here. Unfortunately due to my own personal time constraints, I can't be throwing one up every day so they will be uploaded when I can, of course, another reason to subscribe here and get the email update. There's actually quite a few of these I'm looking forward to getting to so it should be fun.
Aaand that was actually all I had for tonight. Until next time...
-Pat!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Ugh.... Life
Well HELLOOOOOO!
Its been a LONG while since I've updated here and rather than just give a tiny little Facebook status update and get a million questions, you got a blog. So smile. :) Cause you probably won't be if your reading this.
Oh, where to begin here. I'm not happy. Believe it or not, I'm not.
Ya know, all I want out of life is to have a good job, a home, family and friends with absolutely no drama in my life. Right now I've got a good paying job, don't own my own home and my entire personal life, be it friends or family, is all about drama. I don't really want to get into all the drama on here but its bull shit.
Recently I started the home buying process and while it was exciting, I found that going forward with it would have been a mistake. I say that for 2 reasons. While the house I was looking at had some great amenities I didn't feel I would be 100% happy with it. The other reason is the more and more I think about it, the more I'm not sure if I want to live in Topeka. The entire atmosphere seems a little stagnant around here. Every bit of drama in my life comes from Topeka and the surrounding area so if I'm trying to get away from it, buying a home in Topeka required a little more thought.
I'm really not happy about my dating life. Lets be honest right now, while I'm not dating someone right now I don't care to be. While my attention has been peaked here and there I'm done with the whole symantics of it all. Without throwing anyone under the bus here its an issue of (blank) has my attention but I don't have thiers or I have (blank's) attention but they don't have mine. I'm pretty sure that over the course of the last 4 years or so I've been so I've just devalued relationships and the whole process so I need that bit of a distance. So if there are any eligable ladies reading this, sorry, I'm officially off the market and its gonna take ALOT to get me to change that stand point.
For anyone who either takes offense to my opinions, just feels the want to tear my head off over nothing, or like to talk about me when they don't know jack shit, (here we go again, so I'm getting tired of this) Fuck you, cry me a river. I don't give anybody bllshit to deal with nor do I try to cover anyone in any so stop covering me in yours.
I guess what all I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of rebooting my life. So please let me give you a tour over some of the new changes. :)
Unless work related, for the most part, I need to put my cell phone down. That means leave me a voice mail or text message. I'm going to leave an hour or two a day to return phone calls or texts cause I'm tired of it ringing all day long. So no more conversations via text either. I need to disconnect and live a little. If its important, I'll get back with you right away, if not, I'll get back to you.
From now on I'm only doing for me. I'm tired of handing out favors, money, etc, and then not even hearing from someone until weeks later. With the going trend, if I need favors or even just to hang out, its like pulling teeth with some of you. Hell, even hanging out has me spending more money on you. (You being a broad term here, covering several people.)
So lets recap this whole blog post here. I'm not happy, I'm trying to get rid of drama, fuck you if you can't respect my opinion and leave your bullshit at home, I'm gonna hardley use my cell phone so occupy yourself, and I'm now gonna live for me, go woe is you somewhere else if you can't even hang out with me.
Great, now that we've got all that covered, I've got a few things artistically in the works..... if your still reading this and not offended. I've got a couple things I'm working on. One, learning a 3D animation program. Yeah, jumping into that. Second, I'm taking up painting. The animation program I'm learning is so I can push forward with Eichi. Yes, I'm still thinking about it even though its been FOREVER since I've mentioned it. The painting is more of a traditional painting kick. I finally found inspiration for it and right now that is the human figure, focussing mostly on line and form. I was gonna start painting this time I was in town but it didn't happen so maybe next time.
Speaking of next time, enjoy. :)
-Pat!
Its been a LONG while since I've updated here and rather than just give a tiny little Facebook status update and get a million questions, you got a blog. So smile. :) Cause you probably won't be if your reading this.
Oh, where to begin here. I'm not happy. Believe it or not, I'm not.
Ya know, all I want out of life is to have a good job, a home, family and friends with absolutely no drama in my life. Right now I've got a good paying job, don't own my own home and my entire personal life, be it friends or family, is all about drama. I don't really want to get into all the drama on here but its bull shit.
Recently I started the home buying process and while it was exciting, I found that going forward with it would have been a mistake. I say that for 2 reasons. While the house I was looking at had some great amenities I didn't feel I would be 100% happy with it. The other reason is the more and more I think about it, the more I'm not sure if I want to live in Topeka. The entire atmosphere seems a little stagnant around here. Every bit of drama in my life comes from Topeka and the surrounding area so if I'm trying to get away from it, buying a home in Topeka required a little more thought.
I'm really not happy about my dating life. Lets be honest right now, while I'm not dating someone right now I don't care to be. While my attention has been peaked here and there I'm done with the whole symantics of it all. Without throwing anyone under the bus here its an issue of (blank) has my attention but I don't have thiers or I have (blank's) attention but they don't have mine. I'm pretty sure that over the course of the last 4 years or so I've been so I've just devalued relationships and the whole process so I need that bit of a distance. So if there are any eligable ladies reading this, sorry, I'm officially off the market and its gonna take ALOT to get me to change that stand point.
For anyone who either takes offense to my opinions, just feels the want to tear my head off over nothing, or like to talk about me when they don't know jack shit, (here we go again, so I'm getting tired of this) Fuck you, cry me a river. I don't give anybody bllshit to deal with nor do I try to cover anyone in any so stop covering me in yours.
I guess what all I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of rebooting my life. So please let me give you a tour over some of the new changes. :)
Unless work related, for the most part, I need to put my cell phone down. That means leave me a voice mail or text message. I'm going to leave an hour or two a day to return phone calls or texts cause I'm tired of it ringing all day long. So no more conversations via text either. I need to disconnect and live a little. If its important, I'll get back with you right away, if not, I'll get back to you.
From now on I'm only doing for me. I'm tired of handing out favors, money, etc, and then not even hearing from someone until weeks later. With the going trend, if I need favors or even just to hang out, its like pulling teeth with some of you. Hell, even hanging out has me spending more money on you. (You being a broad term here, covering several people.)
So lets recap this whole blog post here. I'm not happy, I'm trying to get rid of drama, fuck you if you can't respect my opinion and leave your bullshit at home, I'm gonna hardley use my cell phone so occupy yourself, and I'm now gonna live for me, go woe is you somewhere else if you can't even hang out with me.
Great, now that we've got all that covered, I've got a few things artistically in the works..... if your still reading this and not offended. I've got a couple things I'm working on. One, learning a 3D animation program. Yeah, jumping into that. Second, I'm taking up painting. The animation program I'm learning is so I can push forward with Eichi. Yes, I'm still thinking about it even though its been FOREVER since I've mentioned it. The painting is more of a traditional painting kick. I finally found inspiration for it and right now that is the human figure, focussing mostly on line and form. I was gonna start painting this time I was in town but it didn't happen so maybe next time.
Speaking of next time, enjoy. :)
-Pat!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Some Days...
Some days.... Let me tell ya, some days I just lose faith in some of those people I call friends. Or maybe even considered friends.
There's something that's just really eating away at me. This really goes back to two of the reasons I left Facebook for a short period. Without getting too specific, IE. throwing out a name, if you ask me to friend you on Facebook or you friend me and I like a fan page of yours, when you remove me from your friends list do decency of removing me from your fan page too. Its just more of a hassle on my end because you deleted me and then I go and check my friends list to see why I haven't heard from you just to see I've been deleted. I swear its things like this that turn me into an asshole.
Ugh, moving on...
I was gonna write about how I'm back to mud logging now and what all that means. It started off with "more down time for me and more blogs for you" but quickly, and I mean QUICKLY, evolved to "so my time away from work is going to be more precious to me therefore I don't have time for any bullshit "woe is me" pity parties when you have every opportunity to change your life like the rest of us."
I think I just got off to a bad start this morning. Either that or I just don't have any sympathy today. I guess I'll see as the day progresses.
So yeah, back to mud logging. I'm really wanting to do things differently this time when I'm not at work so hopefully for me that means getting debts paid and buying a house instead of spending time in the bars several nights a week when I'm home.
I am a little disappointed that page one of my manga didn't get scanned so I could work on it digitally here at work but I can find other things to do. I did bring a sketch book thankfully so maybe I can get some ideas out to paper before I get home.
I feel like I've got a lot on my plate right now and I could honestly write for days on here but I have no mental organization at the moment. With that being said, I'm cutting this short.
I hope your day finds you well my friends. Until next time,
-Pat!
There's something that's just really eating away at me. This really goes back to two of the reasons I left Facebook for a short period. Without getting too specific, IE. throwing out a name, if you ask me to friend you on Facebook or you friend me and I like a fan page of yours, when you remove me from your friends list do decency of removing me from your fan page too. Its just more of a hassle on my end because you deleted me and then I go and check my friends list to see why I haven't heard from you just to see I've been deleted. I swear its things like this that turn me into an asshole.
Ugh, moving on...
I was gonna write about how I'm back to mud logging now and what all that means. It started off with "more down time for me and more blogs for you" but quickly, and I mean QUICKLY, evolved to "so my time away from work is going to be more precious to me therefore I don't have time for any bullshit "woe is me" pity parties when you have every opportunity to change your life like the rest of us."
I think I just got off to a bad start this morning. Either that or I just don't have any sympathy today. I guess I'll see as the day progresses.
So yeah, back to mud logging. I'm really wanting to do things differently this time when I'm not at work so hopefully for me that means getting debts paid and buying a house instead of spending time in the bars several nights a week when I'm home.
I am a little disappointed that page one of my manga didn't get scanned so I could work on it digitally here at work but I can find other things to do. I did bring a sketch book thankfully so maybe I can get some ideas out to paper before I get home.
I feel like I've got a lot on my plate right now and I could honestly write for days on here but I have no mental organization at the moment. With that being said, I'm cutting this short.
I hope your day finds you well my friends. Until next time,
-Pat!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Why I left FB
There's been a bit of a swirl immediately after I left Facebook. It caused a stir in a few, others posted on my status wondering why which confused me because why would someone ask me why on Facebook when I left facebook? I even got a few immediate responses via cell phone asking my why.
So here I am to tell you why I left and why your gonna see me back.
I left for several reasons and to say that it was an immediate decision would be a lie. It really wasn't. My decision to leave Facebook was a decision that's been a long time coming. There were a few immediate factors in the decision.
For starters, I guess I can start with one of the most embarrassing, I was contacted by a friend to ask my why I "friended" one of his friends from another state and with whom I had not met. It was an embarrassing situation because I didn't know. I didn't have an answer. I never sent a friend request because I don't usually send friend requests to even the people I know. The only thing resembling a reason that I could see was when I had a virus SOMEWHERE so I had to disconnect one of my computers from the network, and completely erased my phone and laptop. (For the record, based upon the time and date every bit of spam seemed to go out, I narrowed it down to my phone.)
Secondly was due to something that came fairly personally and due to going round and round... I felt inferior. Inferior due to some choices I made, thoughts, and overall this put me into a position to want to pull away from the world. I've felt ashamed of by someone, whether that be true or not, and it was a bit of a blow to me. I care to not really dwell on this any more so I'm going to leave it at this and never speak of it again, although I know never talking about this doesn't make it go away, but I have apologized for what I've done.
Lastly, I felt I put alot of time into Facebook. Too much time constantly getting updates from friends' statuses. I don't think that most of us realize the hypocrisy there is on Facebook. Even people who delete status comments to aim conversations certain ways. Its all a lie and I'm even guilty of it. Its a silent war on egos to see who either has the biggest ego or the lowest pity party. I had to leave because we seem to not only lie to each other but ourselves.
Here's a little fun fact, I still logged into Facebook. I logged in to see who payed attention, I logged in to see who was still sending me crap from games, but mostly to see the people that I don't have face to face or even cell phone to cell phone contact with. Late at night, at about 3 am, I logged in through my Xbox. I never shows me as being online. Of course today I logged in via my cell to check out the world I left less than a week ago.
So why in God's name would I be coming back to Facebook based on how I view it and the conversations that swirl about in drama? I miss so much. I miss updates providing links to art techniques, news updates, and statuses from my friends. Facebook is my eyes out to the world that is not immediately around me. That is why I'm coming back to Facebook.
Over these last several days I've had time to rethink my goals in life and where I'm really geared towards right now. All will be revealed in due time my friends so keep reading.
-Pat!
So here I am to tell you why I left and why your gonna see me back.
I left for several reasons and to say that it was an immediate decision would be a lie. It really wasn't. My decision to leave Facebook was a decision that's been a long time coming. There were a few immediate factors in the decision.
For starters, I guess I can start with one of the most embarrassing, I was contacted by a friend to ask my why I "friended" one of his friends from another state and with whom I had not met. It was an embarrassing situation because I didn't know. I didn't have an answer. I never sent a friend request because I don't usually send friend requests to even the people I know. The only thing resembling a reason that I could see was when I had a virus SOMEWHERE so I had to disconnect one of my computers from the network, and completely erased my phone and laptop. (For the record, based upon the time and date every bit of spam seemed to go out, I narrowed it down to my phone.)
Secondly was due to something that came fairly personally and due to going round and round... I felt inferior. Inferior due to some choices I made, thoughts, and overall this put me into a position to want to pull away from the world. I've felt ashamed of by someone, whether that be true or not, and it was a bit of a blow to me. I care to not really dwell on this any more so I'm going to leave it at this and never speak of it again, although I know never talking about this doesn't make it go away, but I have apologized for what I've done.
Lastly, I felt I put alot of time into Facebook. Too much time constantly getting updates from friends' statuses. I don't think that most of us realize the hypocrisy there is on Facebook. Even people who delete status comments to aim conversations certain ways. Its all a lie and I'm even guilty of it. Its a silent war on egos to see who either has the biggest ego or the lowest pity party. I had to leave because we seem to not only lie to each other but ourselves.
Here's a little fun fact, I still logged into Facebook. I logged in to see who payed attention, I logged in to see who was still sending me crap from games, but mostly to see the people that I don't have face to face or even cell phone to cell phone contact with. Late at night, at about 3 am, I logged in through my Xbox. I never shows me as being online. Of course today I logged in via my cell to check out the world I left less than a week ago.
So why in God's name would I be coming back to Facebook based on how I view it and the conversations that swirl about in drama? I miss so much. I miss updates providing links to art techniques, news updates, and statuses from my friends. Facebook is my eyes out to the world that is not immediately around me. That is why I'm coming back to Facebook.
Over these last several days I've had time to rethink my goals in life and where I'm really geared towards right now. All will be revealed in due time my friends so keep reading.
-Pat!
Monday, April 30, 2012
...feeling a little bloggy.
Hello neighbor. Its been close to 2 months since I've actually taken time to sit down and fill you guys in with whats going on with me. Well sit back, grab something to drink and lets go.
Soon I should be started back to rig work. Yes its the same kind of work I was doing in Oklahoma. I'm excited for it and excited for the pay that comes along with it. I guess when I first get back I'll be doing some training and would soon be going to a second rig after that so I'm estimating and hoping to be gone close to two months.
Unfortunately with this work, as we all know, I will be missing out on a lot of things like the premier of the new Batman movie, Prometheus, and various other movies. Also I'm gonna miss out on a lot of time back home with my friends and family. It was a hard decision to make but knowing that I will still be in Kansas helps. Unfortunately this also means that my time home will be more precious to me as it once was.
Artistically I haven't been doing too much.
I got around to using my WACOM tablet again. This is gonna play a big role in my artwork while I'm gone. The plan is to do everything on pencil and paper while I'm home and work digitally while I am on a rig. Its a good plan because it will allow me to travel a little more lightly.
Speaking of how I'm splitting up my work loads I've sorted what I want to finish before I go to the rig this first time and I really only have two projects I'm working on . One is a picture for a friend with the characters of the Devil May Cry franchise and the other is the first few pages of my own works.
I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the TMNT Michael Bay relaunch into the movies. I plan to release... kind of a fan tribute comic for that franchise that I loved as a child and still keep i my heart today. I'll admit that some of the ideas I have are radical as well but not quite like Michael Bays. I plan to begin writing it soon but you guys will not see it till I have my own website and when Michael Bays movie is released. Expect that to be Christmas 2013.
Yet another fan fiction idea was kind of dropped on me. Not sure it was intentional but I was simply tagged in a posting on facebook and told I should make it happen. When I asked "why me" I was simply told "why not me". I'm taking that on as a challenge and for anyone who knows what I'm taking about, be sure to be on the look out for this one too.
So I have another blog for those who are not in the know that really explores my nerdy side and its informational for things that I find interesting. The blog is www.nurdgasmic.blogger.com . I don't update it alot but when I do its a good look at my nerdy side and collection. If your interested and didn't know about it, check it out.
And that's pretty much it, all wrapped up in a nutshell.
I'm hoping this isn't the last blog for a while. I'll probably be more ..."bloggy" ...is that even a word? Bloggy? Well, you guys get it. I'll be more bloggy when I'm gone and away from you guys.
_Pat!
Soon I should be started back to rig work. Yes its the same kind of work I was doing in Oklahoma. I'm excited for it and excited for the pay that comes along with it. I guess when I first get back I'll be doing some training and would soon be going to a second rig after that so I'm estimating and hoping to be gone close to two months.
Unfortunately with this work, as we all know, I will be missing out on a lot of things like the premier of the new Batman movie, Prometheus, and various other movies. Also I'm gonna miss out on a lot of time back home with my friends and family. It was a hard decision to make but knowing that I will still be in Kansas helps. Unfortunately this also means that my time home will be more precious to me as it once was.
Artistically I haven't been doing too much.
I got around to using my WACOM tablet again. This is gonna play a big role in my artwork while I'm gone. The plan is to do everything on pencil and paper while I'm home and work digitally while I am on a rig. Its a good plan because it will allow me to travel a little more lightly.
Speaking of how I'm splitting up my work loads I've sorted what I want to finish before I go to the rig this first time and I really only have two projects I'm working on . One is a picture for a friend with the characters of the Devil May Cry franchise and the other is the first few pages of my own works.
I'm sure by now everyone has heard about the TMNT Michael Bay relaunch into the movies. I plan to release... kind of a fan tribute comic for that franchise that I loved as a child and still keep i my heart today. I'll admit that some of the ideas I have are radical as well but not quite like Michael Bays. I plan to begin writing it soon but you guys will not see it till I have my own website and when Michael Bays movie is released. Expect that to be Christmas 2013.
Yet another fan fiction idea was kind of dropped on me. Not sure it was intentional but I was simply tagged in a posting on facebook and told I should make it happen. When I asked "why me" I was simply told "why not me". I'm taking that on as a challenge and for anyone who knows what I'm taking about, be sure to be on the look out for this one too.
So I have another blog for those who are not in the know that really explores my nerdy side and its informational for things that I find interesting. The blog is www.nurdgasmic.blogger.com . I don't update it alot but when I do its a good look at my nerdy side and collection. If your interested and didn't know about it, check it out.
And that's pretty much it, all wrapped up in a nutshell.
I'm hoping this isn't the last blog for a while. I'll probably be more ..."bloggy" ...is that even a word? Bloggy? Well, you guys get it. I'll be more bloggy when I'm gone and away from you guys.
_Pat!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Its Only Getting Better
Helllooo everybody. I hope you all missed me. I missed you.
I know that my blogging over my artistic life has been a little lacking lately, but its because I've focused primarily on my nerd blog called Nurdgasmic, also here on blogger. If you haven't checked it out, please do. I plan on giving it a lot of TLC tomorrow. And by TLC I mean gaming review, comic book reviews, and even talking about action figures. So tomorrow is going to be a big day to tune in.
As far as me and my art is concerned I have been working on a picture for a friend of mine. My friend and I are big Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 fans and he wanted his based around a couple of the characters Dante and Virgil. So I'm about to complete that tomorrow too. Its been a work in progress for about a week now. I know this blog isn't very media heavy, but I will try to post it here once its complete.
I have also been slacking on my road to SDCC artwork and its going to be coming down to the wire soon, especially with the souvenir book submissions. I really need to jump back on board here.
I also have a sketch book that I've given myself 30 days to complete. Well, that's 30 days for a public proclamation, but I have my own set goal, and from the time I'm writing this, I give myself 15 to 20 days as a personal goal. Its not gonna be anything special, just a bit of basic techniques and what not to get me where I need to be.
By working on my other blog I have really gotten a sense of what all I can do so I hope to be able to really let this one grow and prosper. I have high hopes for my personal blog here at Pen's and Pencil's. For anyone who still keeps up with this blog, Thank you. You guys are the reasons I put myself out there, so keep reading my friends. Its about to get better.
-Pat!
I know that my blogging over my artistic life has been a little lacking lately, but its because I've focused primarily on my nerd blog called Nurdgasmic, also here on blogger. If you haven't checked it out, please do. I plan on giving it a lot of TLC tomorrow. And by TLC I mean gaming review, comic book reviews, and even talking about action figures. So tomorrow is going to be a big day to tune in.
As far as me and my art is concerned I have been working on a picture for a friend of mine. My friend and I are big Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 fans and he wanted his based around a couple of the characters Dante and Virgil. So I'm about to complete that tomorrow too. Its been a work in progress for about a week now. I know this blog isn't very media heavy, but I will try to post it here once its complete.
I have also been slacking on my road to SDCC artwork and its going to be coming down to the wire soon, especially with the souvenir book submissions. I really need to jump back on board here.
I also have a sketch book that I've given myself 30 days to complete. Well, that's 30 days for a public proclamation, but I have my own set goal, and from the time I'm writing this, I give myself 15 to 20 days as a personal goal. Its not gonna be anything special, just a bit of basic techniques and what not to get me where I need to be.
By working on my other blog I have really gotten a sense of what all I can do so I hope to be able to really let this one grow and prosper. I have high hopes for my personal blog here at Pen's and Pencil's. For anyone who still keeps up with this blog, Thank you. You guys are the reasons I put myself out there, so keep reading my friends. Its about to get better.
-Pat!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Heart
So I feel like I'm running in place sometimes. I never feel like I'm going forward. When I find myself taking a step forward I find myself reaching back.
I can't find the words to go into detail nor do I care to find them. I can say that they fill me with doubt and despair.
What I do find however is inspiration. Inspiration, no matter how doubtful, now matter how far back I reach, to push forward and farther than I have ever pushed before.
Breaking into the comic book business is no easy task and I often ask myself it that's really what I have the passion for. I find myself wanting to do a lot of different things to express myself. I recently considered some kind of stage craft, cinema special effects, or just a change of something.
I guess the on going thought is that there has got to be something better than this. There has to be something better than working a 9 to 5 for mediocre wages, stretching, and reaching for a good house, a good job, all the while dealing with job lay offs in this economy and people who want to push you down and try to fit you into a mold that you don't fit. There has to be something better than this.
Something else rings true to my mind. To get to this point, its not an over night process. It requires hard work, dedication, and heart. The one key ingredient is the one that I've questioned over the years and even daily. Its the one that brings everything crashing down. That ingredient is heart. Without heart you never put in the hard work it takes to get to the top.
Once again its time to take that step forward, only this time to no longer get derailed and reach back to the past. Its time for one step ahead of the other.
And on this note, now that I spent half an hour watching American Dad, I've lost track on this roller coaster of highs and lows eventually reaching to the climactic point of inspiration. So on that note, I leave you with this...
There's only one number one spot, and I'm gonna take it.
-Pat!
I can't find the words to go into detail nor do I care to find them. I can say that they fill me with doubt and despair.
What I do find however is inspiration. Inspiration, no matter how doubtful, now matter how far back I reach, to push forward and farther than I have ever pushed before.
Breaking into the comic book business is no easy task and I often ask myself it that's really what I have the passion for. I find myself wanting to do a lot of different things to express myself. I recently considered some kind of stage craft, cinema special effects, or just a change of something.
I guess the on going thought is that there has got to be something better than this. There has to be something better than working a 9 to 5 for mediocre wages, stretching, and reaching for a good house, a good job, all the while dealing with job lay offs in this economy and people who want to push you down and try to fit you into a mold that you don't fit. There has to be something better than this.
Something else rings true to my mind. To get to this point, its not an over night process. It requires hard work, dedication, and heart. The one key ingredient is the one that I've questioned over the years and even daily. Its the one that brings everything crashing down. That ingredient is heart. Without heart you never put in the hard work it takes to get to the top.
Once again its time to take that step forward, only this time to no longer get derailed and reach back to the past. Its time for one step ahead of the other.
And on this note, now that I spent half an hour watching American Dad, I've lost track on this roller coaster of highs and lows eventually reaching to the climactic point of inspiration. So on that note, I leave you with this...
There's only one number one spot, and I'm gonna take it.
-Pat!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Short and Sweet
Hello lovable lovelies. Welcome back to my neglected art blog. I've started another blog called "Nurdgamsmic!" and you can find it at www.nerdgasmic.blogspot.com. It's something fun and something I've neglected a bit also, but I'm going to get back to it. Check it out. Subscribe so you know when its updated too.
I'm going to make this short and sweet tonight but there's a few topics I want to cover.
I don't feel that I've really flexed my artistic muscle so its something I'm going to start doing. I haven't been happy with my artwork for quite a while and its about time to start changing that.
Secondly, I'm kinda getting back to basics since I've got this portfolio review weighing on my mind and I'm gonna self study with what... more like with WHO made comics great and what is is. I'm gonna start studying anatomy and environments from the works of the great Jack Kirby, and just like I should be, I'm happy as hell about it.
Speaking of portfolio review I found my second script to run for portfolio review. That second script comes from Witchblade from Top Cow comics.
The last bit I wanted to touch on is that I'm going to add pages of artwork to this blog for all to see.
And that's it everyone. Like I said, short and sweet.
Love your faces
-Pat!
I'm going to make this short and sweet tonight but there's a few topics I want to cover.
I don't feel that I've really flexed my artistic muscle so its something I'm going to start doing. I haven't been happy with my artwork for quite a while and its about time to start changing that.
Secondly, I'm kinda getting back to basics since I've got this portfolio review weighing on my mind and I'm gonna self study with what... more like with WHO made comics great and what is is. I'm gonna start studying anatomy and environments from the works of the great Jack Kirby, and just like I should be, I'm happy as hell about it.
Speaking of portfolio review I found my second script to run for portfolio review. That second script comes from Witchblade from Top Cow comics.
The last bit I wanted to touch on is that I'm going to add pages of artwork to this blog for all to see.
And that's it everyone. Like I said, short and sweet.
Love your faces
-Pat!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Argus, Archangel, and Origins
Good evening. Tonight is a special blog because I get to introduce a new character into Eichi and I will go into the true origins of this project. While this blog will be brief, it will be informative.
Tonight, a "new" character has been added to my Eichi manga. I say "new" because from conception to this point it has been over 6 years since he has been put onto paper. As we all have seen with a few of the pics I have posted onto my facebook page there are demons to this story and you can't have demons without angels.
Thats right, the first rank of the angels has been put to paper and his name is Argus. Argus is the poster child of angels because he has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a physique built for kicking demon ass. He is leader
of the crusade to end the unbalance created by Eichi.
As I was drawing Argus I was reminded of the origin of the Eichi concept and I wanted to share it with you guys.
I started with the concept of Eichi when I was in a dark place in my life. There was one day I was just sitting at work and started doodling and the concept of the piece was someone staring down into a pond at his reflection. In this drawing we see two things, one, is by lack of a better description astral projections. As we see him at the pond we see energy creating the outline of angel wings and then a demon down in the water as his reflection. They represent the inherent good in all of us and how in our reflection we can see a very different perspective. The other thing we see in the drawing is the man reaching out to the pond as a hand reaches back, sort or representing a "come with me" feeling. Its kind of one of these drawings that can be thought provoking and started it all.
This picture is one of the "holy grails" to my art collection. When I retrieve this picture from being locked away in a storage facility, and as long has weather and time has been good to it, I will share it with you all.
So what inspired this picture? It was inspired by a page in Uncanny X-Men, I believe it was issue 358. My favorite Xman of all time Archangle is reborn as the Angel, shedding his metal wings given to him by Apocalypse.
Kind of an epic picture huh?
One more thing. I've decided to use my twitter more often and use it as a tool to "campain" different aspects of production. Look for that to be coming soon as I sort it out and hopefully a dedicated website will be coming too.
Take care my friends. I hope you enjoyed this little lesson in how all came to be and leave me a comment. Let me know what you think about Argus's story. I know I didn't leave alot to his character but I don't want to reveal too much. More will be unvieled of Argus in due time (soon).
-Pat!
Tonight, a "new" character has been added to my Eichi manga. I say "new" because from conception to this point it has been over 6 years since he has been put onto paper. As we all have seen with a few of the pics I have posted onto my facebook page there are demons to this story and you can't have demons without angels.
Thats right, the first rank of the angels has been put to paper and his name is Argus. Argus is the poster child of angels because he has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a physique built for kicking demon ass. He is leader
of the crusade to end the unbalance created by Eichi.
As I was drawing Argus I was reminded of the origin of the Eichi concept and I wanted to share it with you guys.
I started with the concept of Eichi when I was in a dark place in my life. There was one day I was just sitting at work and started doodling and the concept of the piece was someone staring down into a pond at his reflection. In this drawing we see two things, one, is by lack of a better description astral projections. As we see him at the pond we see energy creating the outline of angel wings and then a demon down in the water as his reflection. They represent the inherent good in all of us and how in our reflection we can see a very different perspective. The other thing we see in the drawing is the man reaching out to the pond as a hand reaches back, sort or representing a "come with me" feeling. Its kind of one of these drawings that can be thought provoking and started it all.
This picture is one of the "holy grails" to my art collection. When I retrieve this picture from being locked away in a storage facility, and as long has weather and time has been good to it, I will share it with you all.
So what inspired this picture? It was inspired by a page in Uncanny X-Men, I believe it was issue 358. My favorite Xman of all time Archangle is reborn as the Angel, shedding his metal wings given to him by Apocalypse.
Kind of an epic picture huh?
One more thing. I've decided to use my twitter more often and use it as a tool to "campain" different aspects of production. Look for that to be coming soon as I sort it out and hopefully a dedicated website will be coming too.
Take care my friends. I hope you enjoyed this little lesson in how all came to be and leave me a comment. Let me know what you think about Argus's story. I know I didn't leave alot to his character but I don't want to reveal too much. More will be unvieled of Argus in due time (soon).
-Pat!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Eichi Pilot, Video Game, and SDCC
Well hello again everyone.
My last blog posed to be a bit to swallow so this time hopefully it won't be so much.
I'm excited because coming up is SDCC. Granted its in July, but its still coming up and there is alot to be done.
I've been mulling around a few things, especially about my Eichi project, and I thought I would fill you guys in on a few.
I'm not gonna lie when I tell you that the number one reason I'm excited about SDCC is portfolio review. This will be the time when I can see if I have what its really gonna take or if everything is a dud to make it into the big leagues. My general idea is that I don't, however I have potential, and thats really what I'm trying to find out. I have alot of drawing to do and alot of reading to do before July before I will ever feel I'm up to the challenge. Its gonna be rough, its gonna be brutal, but thankfully its gonna be unbiased and an honest look into my work.
Anot her look into my work will be the art auction. How much will I be able to see my art for? We're gonna find out. I'm not sure what I will have for the auction yet. I'm still in the brain storming phase.
I feel like this blog is pretty dull in comparison to some of my others so I'm glad your still here if you are.
Lastly I wanna talk about Eichi for a moment and where thats all going.
I've decided to self publish a first draft book, a pilot, if you will by the time SDCC comes around. SDCC will be the debut and I will also have extra coppies for who ever is insterested. I'm not sure how far long the story will be but I do know that it will be long enough to give the general premise of the book. As the time comes closer I will have create a website and let you all know that preorders will be taken. Because this will be a pilot book and you are all my friends t he preorder will cost you nothing. The only thing I will ask is that you provide me with good honest feedback through the website and its forums (also in the works.) Here's another little goodie that next to no one knows about, the SDCC version and the pilot book will be different. Fear not for the story will be the same but there may be more of a bonus for the SDCC books, but thats still up in the air.
The Eichi "franchise" was designed and molded to really push my creative output to the max. I say that because its going to involve writing, drawing, inking (tracing, for all my Chasing Amy friends out there), publishing, and marketing; however in the grand scheme of things there was so much more. Action figures and statues were also part of the process but there is one that I never really spoke of and is really raising an interst to me, video games.
While in production for the pilot I will be working on stock art to adapt into a 2D fighting game via the Mugen engine on pc. While this means that it won't be readily playable on traditional home consoles the engine is open source and will allow me to legally distribute it. Again, this is a bit of a pilot program, depending on how far I can actually push this. I'm hoping to have many playable characters each with thier own story outside of the main one told in the pilot.
Well thats all I have for now everyone. I hope to come back with some more info and update real soon.
-Pat!
My last blog posed to be a bit to swallow so this time hopefully it won't be so much.
I'm excited because coming up is SDCC. Granted its in July, but its still coming up and there is alot to be done.
I've been mulling around a few things, especially about my Eichi project, and I thought I would fill you guys in on a few.
I'm not gonna lie when I tell you that the number one reason I'm excited about SDCC is portfolio review. This will be the time when I can see if I have what its really gonna take or if everything is a dud to make it into the big leagues. My general idea is that I don't, however I have potential, and thats really what I'm trying to find out. I have alot of drawing to do and alot of reading to do before July before I will ever feel I'm up to the challenge. Its gonna be rough, its gonna be brutal, but thankfully its gonna be unbiased and an honest look into my work.
Anot her look into my work will be the art auction. How much will I be able to see my art for? We're gonna find out. I'm not sure what I will have for the auction yet. I'm still in the brain storming phase.
I feel like this blog is pretty dull in comparison to some of my others so I'm glad your still here if you are.
Lastly I wanna talk about Eichi for a moment and where thats all going.
I've decided to self publish a first draft book, a pilot, if you will by the time SDCC comes around. SDCC will be the debut and I will also have extra coppies for who ever is insterested. I'm not sure how far long the story will be but I do know that it will be long enough to give the general premise of the book. As the time comes closer I will have create a website and let you all know that preorders will be taken. Because this will be a pilot book and you are all my friends t he preorder will cost you nothing. The only thing I will ask is that you provide me with good honest feedback through the website and its forums (also in the works.) Here's another little goodie that next to no one knows about, the SDCC version and the pilot book will be different. Fear not for the story will be the same but there may be more of a bonus for the SDCC books, but thats still up in the air.
The Eichi "franchise" was designed and molded to really push my creative output to the max. I say that because its going to involve writing, drawing, inking (tracing, for all my Chasing Amy friends out there), publishing, and marketing; however in the grand scheme of things there was so much more. Action figures and statues were also part of the process but there is one that I never really spoke of and is really raising an interst to me, video games.
While in production for the pilot I will be working on stock art to adapt into a 2D fighting game via the Mugen engine on pc. While this means that it won't be readily playable on traditional home consoles the engine is open source and will allow me to legally distribute it. Again, this is a bit of a pilot program, depending on how far I can actually push this. I'm hoping to have many playable characters each with thier own story outside of the main one told in the pilot.
Well thats all I have for now everyone. I hope to come back with some more info and update real soon.
-Pat!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Thats What Stars Are For
So I've got alot to tell you my friends. Some very personal and some artistic so lets just jump right in.
Theres something very... (libertaing?) about bring truely honest with yourself and others.
I've been single for about 3 years, had a few sways in the heart here and there, but never was the right chord hit. Atleast never that hit more than an interest. Not to be taken lightly, I have not, in the last 3 years, used the words "I love you" and never with such gravity.
Now, I know to who isn't a suprise to most, but I don't think many knew whats been brewing in my head. To fill the rest of you in, its been heartache and pain.
To the lovely lady, I hope you take everything I said to hear with the gravity that everything I said should entail. I don't expect anything, especially after all thats been said and done, but I opened my heart to you. I hope your willing to listen to what it has to say.
Eichi has taken a HUGE step forward in progress. What once has been thoughts and ideas and sometimes words on paper is now becoming product.
When Eichi was very first concieved it was several years ago. The character was written to embody my anger, as a bit of an artistic outlet. Characters began to become added to represent different highs and lows in my life so there was quite a variety. The project itself has been up in the air between an anime or a manga. How much has actually been written?
So where is everything and what is the ultimate fate of all these options? The answer to the question of anime or manga is both. Both will also be slightly different than the other. Aside from a few details here and there the story has been written from start to finsh and while the manga will end one way, only in the anime will you see not one, not two, but all 4 alternate endings and both complete alternate beginings.
I never knew how eary it would be getting all of this down into some kind of a finished project until I actually started the work. I was always hesitant about doing it because hey, what do I know about writing and making a final product. Well, apparently more than I thought. If you haven't checked it out yet on my facebook I've dropped a few teaser images.
I will like my FB at the end.
Something else has been dropped in my lap yesterday, Comic-Con. Yes the San Diego International Comic Convention. The one bane of my existance that I love to hate, but most of all love. SDCC will be where I will drop a few coppies of the inaugeral edition of Eichi to get feedback and then, heaven permitting, will be available for the rest of you. SDCC also means another souvinier book, and most of all this year, portfolio review.
Yes, you read that right, the day that I will arrive to the Con in full shirt and tie with a portfolio, complete with hand drawn "business cards." But who is gonna get to see my portfolio? Marvel? DC? Top Cow, Image, Archie? As many as I can get to see me in that 4 day span.
Ofcourse all this will not be possible, and earning an honorable mention in my blog, if not for my dear friend Kay. In all of my feelings of despair, hopelessness, failure, and worthlessness, Kay has always been a shining beacon of light, support, and faith when I had none. (Even if she knows it not.) Also, thank you for the Civil War script book to help build that sequential art from. (Rest assred for that you just earned yourself a framed page print for your support and faith.) Thank you for this opportunity.
So thats it in a nut shell. 6 months of long hours and grueling work. Its gonna be hell. But after all, what good are the stars if they aren't there to shoot for?
EXCELSIOR!!!
-Pat!
www.facebook.com/pcpenner
Theres something very... (libertaing?) about bring truely honest with yourself and others.
I've been single for about 3 years, had a few sways in the heart here and there, but never was the right chord hit. Atleast never that hit more than an interest. Not to be taken lightly, I have not, in the last 3 years, used the words "I love you" and never with such gravity.
Now, I know to who isn't a suprise to most, but I don't think many knew whats been brewing in my head. To fill the rest of you in, its been heartache and pain.
To the lovely lady, I hope you take everything I said to hear with the gravity that everything I said should entail. I don't expect anything, especially after all thats been said and done, but I opened my heart to you. I hope your willing to listen to what it has to say.
Eichi has taken a HUGE step forward in progress. What once has been thoughts and ideas and sometimes words on paper is now becoming product.
When Eichi was very first concieved it was several years ago. The character was written to embody my anger, as a bit of an artistic outlet. Characters began to become added to represent different highs and lows in my life so there was quite a variety. The project itself has been up in the air between an anime or a manga. How much has actually been written?
So where is everything and what is the ultimate fate of all these options? The answer to the question of anime or manga is both. Both will also be slightly different than the other. Aside from a few details here and there the story has been written from start to finsh and while the manga will end one way, only in the anime will you see not one, not two, but all 4 alternate endings and both complete alternate beginings.
I never knew how eary it would be getting all of this down into some kind of a finished project until I actually started the work. I was always hesitant about doing it because hey, what do I know about writing and making a final product. Well, apparently more than I thought. If you haven't checked it out yet on my facebook I've dropped a few teaser images.
I will like my FB at the end.
Something else has been dropped in my lap yesterday, Comic-Con. Yes the San Diego International Comic Convention. The one bane of my existance that I love to hate, but most of all love. SDCC will be where I will drop a few coppies of the inaugeral edition of Eichi to get feedback and then, heaven permitting, will be available for the rest of you. SDCC also means another souvinier book, and most of all this year, portfolio review.
Yes, you read that right, the day that I will arrive to the Con in full shirt and tie with a portfolio, complete with hand drawn "business cards." But who is gonna get to see my portfolio? Marvel? DC? Top Cow, Image, Archie? As many as I can get to see me in that 4 day span.
Ofcourse all this will not be possible, and earning an honorable mention in my blog, if not for my dear friend Kay. In all of my feelings of despair, hopelessness, failure, and worthlessness, Kay has always been a shining beacon of light, support, and faith when I had none. (Even if she knows it not.) Also, thank you for the Civil War script book to help build that sequential art from. (Rest assred for that you just earned yourself a framed page print for your support and faith.) Thank you for this opportunity.
So thats it in a nut shell. 6 months of long hours and grueling work. Its gonna be hell. But after all, what good are the stars if they aren't there to shoot for?
EXCELSIOR!!!
-Pat!
www.facebook.com/pcpenner
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
2012
Welcome 2012!!!
So what does 2012 have in store? What are my resolutions? How am I gonne make this better than 2011?
Lets face it friends, 2011 for me ended on a sour note. But it can only go up from here right? I wish.
Here's what I resolve in 2012, and I'll elaborate later.
1. Stop putting up with everyones shit.
2. Be more money smart.
3. Read more.
4. Draw more.
5. Lose weight (but who doesn't resolve to do this?)
6. Let go
So I first told myself that I wasn't going to put up with anyones shit this year. I've actually already started this one and didn't tell anyone.
The first example is my good friend Kay. (Sorry to throw you out there and use you as an example here.) Kay has been close to me for a few years. Hell, I even considered dating Kay several times. Most rencently, the end of 2011. (Sorry you had to find out this way. :D) After many talks about making some changes, nothing seemed to change so I told her I didn't care anymore. Now, in regards to Kay, I love that girl to death, drop almost anything for her, lol, but I had to tell her enough was enough. I just couldn't care anymore since I worried myself sick over her last year. Now, if I said that to Kay whats that say for the rest of you? Lets let this sink in and then we can move on.
.............
Moving on, be more money smart, read more, draw more, all self explanitory, but I'll elaborate a bit. Being more money smart means I'm not going out, doing this for that person, and loaning another person money. Simply put, in 2012, I'm no longer a fucking ATM. Even my MOTUC doesn't mean enough to me to care right now. I can do with out so thats more money in my pocket. Read more, well I got tons here to read, maybe I'll learn a bit. Draw more? Well you all want to see more after all right? I thought so.
Loose wight. We all resolve to do it so why shouldn't I? Getting real personal here, I saw a picture of me from about 2 or 3 years ago. I need to lose some, and when I say some, I mean alot. My weight is always something I've fought with and frankly what I'm the most emberassed about. I find myself only wearing my largest clothes and when I grow into those I get bigger ones. I wear my coat more often than not because of this fact. I'm fat and I know this. Hell, I'm too self concious to date at this point anyways. The only real attribute here is that I'm always warm. :)
I watched this documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. You can find it on Netflix. For one, this made me want to cry. It made me look deep inside myself to the point that I can't believe how I got to this point, but also cry out of inspiration. For anyone who has this resolution I highly recomend this documentary. It changed my life and how I will live out 2012.
This year I also want to let go. I want to let go of all my pain, desperation, addictions, and inhibitions. For the most part you all (especially if you read my 2011 blog) know my pain and desperations. I have a few addictions I want to kick. No, no drugs or anything like that. I drink, I want to kick that this year or atleast get it to the point that is for social outing only, not getting drunk, maybe some wine every now and then. Sue me, I'm 32 years old. I'm gonna drink like I am and not 21. Lets have a little maturity. I can't say this is truely an addiction, but you get the point. Let go of inhibitions? Well lets see what all I do this year. lol
God this is turning out long.
So what do I want this year to hold for me?
Artistically I want to be further along in production of Eichi. I'm going two ways with it. One, anime. Two, manga. Obviously manga would be completed first and once I get a website, your gonna see more of it. So stay tuned for that one. I want to turn to more professinal type work so keep an eye out for that too.
Lastly (and as hokey it as this may sound), I want to fall in love this year. I feel like I gave up over the past couple years and for as much as I wanted something to work out for me last year, maybe I just didn't try hard enough. ....maybe I was just looking for love in Alderan places. (lol Sorry, a little Star Wars humor there.)
So I'm gonna leave you with that smile on your face. All I can say is this year, you might wanna watch out for me, cause I'm gonna go after everything I want this year. Just wait and see. ;)
Love you guys,
-Pat!
So what does 2012 have in store? What are my resolutions? How am I gonne make this better than 2011?
Lets face it friends, 2011 for me ended on a sour note. But it can only go up from here right? I wish.
Here's what I resolve in 2012, and I'll elaborate later.
1. Stop putting up with everyones shit.
2. Be more money smart.
3. Read more.
4. Draw more.
5. Lose weight (but who doesn't resolve to do this?)
6. Let go
So I first told myself that I wasn't going to put up with anyones shit this year. I've actually already started this one and didn't tell anyone.
The first example is my good friend Kay. (Sorry to throw you out there and use you as an example here.) Kay has been close to me for a few years. Hell, I even considered dating Kay several times. Most rencently, the end of 2011. (Sorry you had to find out this way. :D) After many talks about making some changes, nothing seemed to change so I told her I didn't care anymore. Now, in regards to Kay, I love that girl to death, drop almost anything for her, lol, but I had to tell her enough was enough. I just couldn't care anymore since I worried myself sick over her last year. Now, if I said that to Kay whats that say for the rest of you? Lets let this sink in and then we can move on.
.............
Moving on, be more money smart, read more, draw more, all self explanitory, but I'll elaborate a bit. Being more money smart means I'm not going out, doing this for that person, and loaning another person money. Simply put, in 2012, I'm no longer a fucking ATM. Even my MOTUC doesn't mean enough to me to care right now. I can do with out so thats more money in my pocket. Read more, well I got tons here to read, maybe I'll learn a bit. Draw more? Well you all want to see more after all right? I thought so.
Loose wight. We all resolve to do it so why shouldn't I? Getting real personal here, I saw a picture of me from about 2 or 3 years ago. I need to lose some, and when I say some, I mean alot. My weight is always something I've fought with and frankly what I'm the most emberassed about. I find myself only wearing my largest clothes and when I grow into those I get bigger ones. I wear my coat more often than not because of this fact. I'm fat and I know this. Hell, I'm too self concious to date at this point anyways. The only real attribute here is that I'm always warm. :)
I watched this documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. You can find it on Netflix. For one, this made me want to cry. It made me look deep inside myself to the point that I can't believe how I got to this point, but also cry out of inspiration. For anyone who has this resolution I highly recomend this documentary. It changed my life and how I will live out 2012.
This year I also want to let go. I want to let go of all my pain, desperation, addictions, and inhibitions. For the most part you all (especially if you read my 2011 blog) know my pain and desperations. I have a few addictions I want to kick. No, no drugs or anything like that. I drink, I want to kick that this year or atleast get it to the point that is for social outing only, not getting drunk, maybe some wine every now and then. Sue me, I'm 32 years old. I'm gonna drink like I am and not 21. Lets have a little maturity. I can't say this is truely an addiction, but you get the point. Let go of inhibitions? Well lets see what all I do this year. lol
God this is turning out long.
So what do I want this year to hold for me?
Artistically I want to be further along in production of Eichi. I'm going two ways with it. One, anime. Two, manga. Obviously manga would be completed first and once I get a website, your gonna see more of it. So stay tuned for that one. I want to turn to more professinal type work so keep an eye out for that too.
Lastly (and as hokey it as this may sound), I want to fall in love this year. I feel like I gave up over the past couple years and for as much as I wanted something to work out for me last year, maybe I just didn't try hard enough. ....maybe I was just looking for love in Alderan places. (lol Sorry, a little Star Wars humor there.)
So I'm gonna leave you with that smile on your face. All I can say is this year, you might wanna watch out for me, cause I'm gonna go after everything I want this year. Just wait and see. ;)
Love you guys,
-Pat!
Reflecting on 2011
So 2011 was a hell of a year and I'm sure those close to me have been wondering "Why hasn't he chimed in on it yet? Whats his New Resolutions?" Simple, its only been four days and I'm getting to it. ......NOW.
2011 seems to be one for the books for me, but then again has the past 5 years or so. I think this year I spent more time on umemployment and broke more than not, lost out on love, heartbroken, figured it all out, and broken again. School, work, roommates, my home, I felt like everything I had, or thought I had was turned upside down.
I realize that I only blogged 5 or 6 times last year, but I don't want to go into a life story, but just wanna hit a few notes.
January 14th I was laid off from work and struggled between finding new jobs and unemplyment. I tried for months and when I finally found emplyment with Alorica (eww!) I was called back to Toledo. Unfortunately not knowing where I would be going I resigned with Alorica only to not go south by the Mexican border.
So the hunt was back on for jobs and tried my hand back in school. I got a rude awakening when nothing I did seemed to be good enough for my instructor and ended up dropping out again. Evidently art school isn't for me and I don't plan to return to it. Maybe it was the online structure that gave me too much freedom to screw it off or the fact that school had to be my "dirty secret" from my parents. (Which my dad and aunt may be reading this now, but oh well.)
After all that was said and done I just wanted to settle and focus on a home life. One where I didn't have to travel, could focus on, and become successful. Now anyone who knows me knows that I was head over heels for a girl. I mean, I was stupid for this girl, and maybe too stupid. Too stupid to take a chance and I played it safe. I figured if she didn't make a move then hey, I would give it more time. As I look back, maybe there were hints and missed opportunities. After getting what felt like a blow off for a while I got hint that maybe she had a boyfriend and I asked and ofcourse I was right. My heart suck to the floor and I was highly upset.
Around this time my lease was coming up for renewal and my mom was having eye surgery so I moved back in with her to help her out and lick my wounds and find me again, reevaluate my situation and get my head straight in what I really wanted in life.
A couple years ago I stopped using the word faith. I used to always tell everyone to have faith. A few years ago I had lost mine. I lost faith in people, the world, and God. I had always had some faith in God, but during this time I opened my heart more to Him and what He had to teach me. Through Him I would find me.
Through Him and the the honesty He helped me find in myself I found that I was not whole. He opened me up and showed me that which I was missing I left years ago. He helped me see that the one I was missing was the one who gave me my faith to begin with, Cody. The only way I can explain it is like a flood gate, and everything I held for Cody once before came rushing back to me.
I wish that was the end of this story but it isn't. In order to save on the long story, Cody and I are two different people now. She is still an amazing person and in no way want to take away from that. I respect her and deep in my heart, hidden away, I will always love Cody. Its as simple and heart chrushing as that.
All of a sudden my story brings me to the end of 2011. I hope I haven't lost any of you yet.
December found me lost, faith shaken, heart broken, reclusive, angry, and bitter, everything that lays down my foundation for 2012, but more on that later, in another blog.
So what was I going to do? I was left with not much feeling towards anything. So what was I to do?
The plan was to liquidate all my assetts. I mean a straight fire sale on damn near my every posession, go back to work down south and work for 6 months, hiding out somewhere in Louisiana or Texas just making money, and never return to where anyone knew my face. I would start anew.
I emailed the Operations Manager of Toldedo Mudlogging right before Christmas.
I'm still waiting.
2011 seems to be one for the books for me, but then again has the past 5 years or so. I think this year I spent more time on umemployment and broke more than not, lost out on love, heartbroken, figured it all out, and broken again. School, work, roommates, my home, I felt like everything I had, or thought I had was turned upside down.
I realize that I only blogged 5 or 6 times last year, but I don't want to go into a life story, but just wanna hit a few notes.
January 14th I was laid off from work and struggled between finding new jobs and unemplyment. I tried for months and when I finally found emplyment with Alorica (eww!) I was called back to Toledo. Unfortunately not knowing where I would be going I resigned with Alorica only to not go south by the Mexican border.
So the hunt was back on for jobs and tried my hand back in school. I got a rude awakening when nothing I did seemed to be good enough for my instructor and ended up dropping out again. Evidently art school isn't for me and I don't plan to return to it. Maybe it was the online structure that gave me too much freedom to screw it off or the fact that school had to be my "dirty secret" from my parents. (Which my dad and aunt may be reading this now, but oh well.)
After all that was said and done I just wanted to settle and focus on a home life. One where I didn't have to travel, could focus on, and become successful. Now anyone who knows me knows that I was head over heels for a girl. I mean, I was stupid for this girl, and maybe too stupid. Too stupid to take a chance and I played it safe. I figured if she didn't make a move then hey, I would give it more time. As I look back, maybe there were hints and missed opportunities. After getting what felt like a blow off for a while I got hint that maybe she had a boyfriend and I asked and ofcourse I was right. My heart suck to the floor and I was highly upset.
Around this time my lease was coming up for renewal and my mom was having eye surgery so I moved back in with her to help her out and lick my wounds and find me again, reevaluate my situation and get my head straight in what I really wanted in life.
A couple years ago I stopped using the word faith. I used to always tell everyone to have faith. A few years ago I had lost mine. I lost faith in people, the world, and God. I had always had some faith in God, but during this time I opened my heart more to Him and what He had to teach me. Through Him I would find me.
Through Him and the the honesty He helped me find in myself I found that I was not whole. He opened me up and showed me that which I was missing I left years ago. He helped me see that the one I was missing was the one who gave me my faith to begin with, Cody. The only way I can explain it is like a flood gate, and everything I held for Cody once before came rushing back to me.
I wish that was the end of this story but it isn't. In order to save on the long story, Cody and I are two different people now. She is still an amazing person and in no way want to take away from that. I respect her and deep in my heart, hidden away, I will always love Cody. Its as simple and heart chrushing as that.
All of a sudden my story brings me to the end of 2011. I hope I haven't lost any of you yet.
December found me lost, faith shaken, heart broken, reclusive, angry, and bitter, everything that lays down my foundation for 2012, but more on that later, in another blog.
So what was I going to do? I was left with not much feeling towards anything. So what was I to do?
The plan was to liquidate all my assetts. I mean a straight fire sale on damn near my every posession, go back to work down south and work for 6 months, hiding out somewhere in Louisiana or Texas just making money, and never return to where anyone knew my face. I would start anew.
I emailed the Operations Manager of Toldedo Mudlogging right before Christmas.
I'm still waiting.
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